10 Ways To Spot a Flatlander in Maine
It won't be long before Maine is once again crawling with our seasonal visitors. Here are some ways to tell who is a true Mainer, and who is from away.
For some reason people come to Maine expecting it to be like a wildlife zoo where you see a moose and puffins just around the corner. Don't get me wrong, some parts of the state are more abundant with wildlife and you might see a moose, but there are no guarantees.
They come in stampedes from the cruise ships, so you can't miss em' when they flood places like Bar Harbor. You can already find a flock of RV's at your local Walmart parking lot, but they will soon be taking over our roads.
If you see someone walking down the street dressed head to toe in expensive designer fashions you can assume they are from away. Not that Mainers aren't fashionable, we just save fashion for more special occasions, like the local bean suppah.
The beacon towers along Maine's coast once served to protect sailors from certain peril on the rocky shores. Now they serve as the perfect backdrop for tourist photos. Flatlanders are like moths. They are drawn to the flashing lights.
Like mentioned above, they take full advantage of Maine for beautiful, interesting, or silly photo ops. I've lived in Bangor my whole life and have never had my picture taken with Paul Bunyan, but some guy in Idaho has!
Picture a nice sunny Maine summer day, 70 degrees in the sun with a nice ocean breeze near the coast. The flatlanders will be the ones wearing coats with chattering teeth.
If they are not asking you where to get the best lobster, they are already there eating it. That seems to be on the top of everyone from away's to-do list. Mainers eat lobster of course, but we don't make as big a deal out of it.
"How do I get to (insert poorly pronounced town or city name here)" Haven't flatlanders ever heard of a Gazetteer?! It would save them a lot of embarrassment...
Walk around Bar Harbor on a typical summer day and you'll see one on every other person on the sidewalk. "I climbed Cadillac Mountain in Acadia" "Bah-Habah" "This is My Main(e) Sweatshirt". Their sweatshirts might as well say "I'm not from around here."
I think more Mainers would rather drive in the snowy winters than the hectic roads when flatlanders return. It's not that hard to get there from here, but our winding back roads and miles of the same tree scenes seem to be too much for some tourists.