The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
6 Ways to Use Your Mom to Pick Up Women
Every dating website will preach the importance of a "wing man." Wing men are overrated. Wing women are the key to sex-cess.
If a Baseball Brawl Doesn’t End in Death Soon, I’m Going to Stop Watching [Half a Man]
Another brawl in baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke got plunked in a game last night against the Arizona Diamondbacks and the ensuing brawl is a great reminder to everyone on the East coast that baseball happens after 10PM our time and WHOKNEWAMMARIGHT...
Minor League Player Steals Home to the Delight of All Seven Fans in the Stands
Minor League baseball is often the place to find some of the most exciting plays of the year. Thankfully, those plays are available to watch online. It's much easier than fighting the massive crowds that pack minor league stadiums across the US...
Joe Flacco Used to Laugh at Some of Ray Lewis’ Speeches
After signing an enormous deal to return to the Baltimore Ravens, Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco is probably feeling pretty good about himself. He's feeling so good he's being a little more forthcoming with his opinions about a myriad of topics -- one being former teammate Ray Lewis.
Why Buzzer Beaters Suck [Half a Man]
The ability to shoot video on anything -- smart phones, wristwatches and specially marked cans of Mr. Pibb -- has brought a litany of otherwise unseeable sports moments to the world.
Jonathan Papelbon — Phillies ‘Lack Leadership’
Jonathan Papelbon came over to the Philadelphia Phillies from a Red Sox team that, at the time, probably had more leaders than actual soldiers. In his time with Philly, Papelbon has been waiting for one of the Phillies to step up and take a vocal role...
Calvin Johnson Broke Receiving Record With Multiple Broken Fingers
Calvin Johnson had a monster season for the Detroit Lions. Forget monster, it was a record-breaking display. Johnson broke something else this season, besides the NFL receiving record -- he broke multiple fingers and still played.
Oscar Pistorius Breaks Down In Court — Officially Charged with Murder of Reeva Steenkamp
Olympic star Oscar Pistorius broke down in tears as he stood before magistrate Desmond Nair. Pistorius is being charged with murder in the shooting death of his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.
Tedy Bruschi Ranks the NFC East Quarterbacks — Next Segment, He’ll Rank Flavors in Neapolitan Ice Cream
On a gym treadmill this morning, when faced with the Sophie's Choice of watching sports news for the tenth time or Guy Fieri and Rachael Ray cooking with the guy who married Donna Martin from '90210,' I chose the worldwide leader. I honestly try to stay away from ESPN as much as possible, but just like pleasuring yourself to necklace models on QVC, it's sometimes the best you've got in the moment.
Wrestling Cut from 2020 Olympics
The International Olympic Committee voted to drop wrestling from its schedule for the 2020 Games via a secret ballot during a meeting in Switzerland. Instead of eliminating the pentathlon, like many expected, the IOC decided to scrap wrestling.